One of the most persistent rumors about Orcs is that they will eat their own kind every now and then. Of course, this rumor is nothing but true – after all, some Orcs are not really worth digging a hole for. Which is where the Fried Orc comes in.
In real-world terms, this is a variation on the common meat ball recipe, combining several nut flavors with a fruity tomato sauce to deliver a wholesome Orc experience – using almost the whole Orc!
Believe it or not, but this recipe is widely considered to be the most civilized side of orcish funeral rites – which is saying something about the alternatives. It is definitely the tastiest option to pay your respects to a deceased member of the tribe.
Either you look at it as a nut-themed meatball variation with tomato sauce and pasta or a rather special kind of orc funeral that provides deep insights into their culture and culinary beliefs.
- 500 g ground meat (Orc meat)
- 100 g hazelnut, ground (Orc cartilage)
- 150 g peanut butter (Orc liver)
- 2 tbsp ground paprika (Orc spleen, ground)
- 1 egg (from a chicken, duh)
- 2 tbsp olive oil (Orc fat)
- 500 g spaghetti (Orc veins)
- 500 g sieved tomatoes (Orc blood)
- 100 ml cream (Orc tallow)
- 50 g almond slices (bone fragments)
Put the ingredients for the meat balls in a bowl and mix thoroughly, then form small balls from the meat dough. If it is too soft you can add breadcrumbs (Orc dandruff).
Heat the olive oil in a pan and fry the balls from all sides.
Meanwhile, prepare the spaghetti according to their instructions.
Add the tomatoes, cream and almonds to the sauce, put a lid on and let simmer for about 15 minutes.
Season to taste, then serve with the spaghetti.
This can be made with any kind of ground meat and any kind of nuts - after all, every orc has their unique flavor.
Instead of pasta, you can also make 1 cup of rice according to the instructions and serve it as Orc brain.
Including the Fried Orc in your Game
In principle and systemic, Fried Orc is only made by orcs, mostly for other orcs. As such, it is only feasible for adventurers to gather the ingredients if they have been tasked to do so by Orcs themselves. Maybe the target is a renegade orc shaman or a member of a feuding clan.
On the other hand, the background might be far less sinister, and less dangerous for the group. Maybe an orc they have had dealings with in the past slipped and broke his neck, or died in his sleep, and they are for some reason invited to join his last meal. Then again, being invited by Orcs is probably always at least a little dangerous and sinister.
What do you think about the Fried Orc?
Please let us know what you think about this recipe, and why the orc in question has been seasoned the way it was in order to match his family’s wishes. Your feedback is much appreciated!