There is a saying in virtually every culture about using every part of something so that nothing goes to waste. That might be the buffalo for some Humans, the forest for an Elf and the Elf for an Orc. While for the Dwarves, the traditional saying is to use every part of the mountain, it would be much more fitting to say that they use every part of the rat. Because they do. And once you tasted these delicious rat tails, you will probably understand why.

Rat Tails - Cheesy Snack

The business acumen of dwarves and the desire for all things new of city-dwellers everywhere never came together as nicely as it did in this delicacy.

Course: Snack
Cuisine: Dwarven
Author: Jabbado
  • 250 g cheese see below
  • 3 cloves garlic
  • 125 g flour
  • 3/4 tsp salt
  • 1/2 tsp pepper ground
  • 60 g butter
  • 3-4 tbsp water
  1. Grate the cheese and finely chop the garlic cloves. Put both aside.

  2. In a big bowl, mix flour with salt and pepper.

  3. Cut the cold butter into small pieces and knead together with the flour mix.

  4. Add garlic and cheese and knead again.

  5. Add water by the tablespoon and keep kneading till you get a solid dough.

  6. Roll out the dough, fold it over and roll it again. Repeat at least three times.

  7. Cut the dough into small portions and roll them out into long snakes. Cut off every 10 cm (4").

  8. Roll one end to a point and place these tails on a baking sheet with baking paper.

  9. Bake for 20 minutes at 180°C (350 °F). Let cool down afterwards before handling.

Recipe Notes

The choice of cheese has a strong influence on the taste of the resulting rat tails. Here, a determined host can spend large sums of money easily, but that would be neither wise nor expedient. Even with cheaper cheese products, this is bound to taste better than the original.
And if you want your rat tails Glavenpath-style - a little on the hot side due to the firebug maggots the local rats tend to eat - add a few drops of your favorite hot sauce to the dough.

Where to find Rat Tails

Once again, the dwarven affinity to all things monetary is to blame for this snack being available virtually everywhere. Add to that the fact that many remote locations tend to keep a small batch of these on hand to prove (to themselves) that they are “going with the times”, there is no good reason for not having rat tails wherever you go.

There have been tensions, though, between the dwarven rat breeders on the one hand and different groups of alchemists as well as various cults on the other. The reason behind that is that since they are being processed and sold as treats, the price for raw rat tails has skyrocketed. Although they refuse to say what they need them for, alchemists and cultists alike claim that they need tails as vital ingredient for one recipe/ritual or another.

Tempers run high, and a group of adventurers might find themselves asked to help out by teaching the local cult some manners for the dwarves. Or they get caught in an attempted assault on a heavily armed tail transport conducted by militant alchemists.

Or perhaps a cultist approaches the group and reveals to them why they really, really need a batch of rat tails, and enlists their help to obtain them.

What do you think?

I would love to hear how you and your group liked rat rails, and how you incorporated them into your game or your dinner. Also, please send me feedback if you have ideas on how to improve the recipe or the experience. And always remember to cook with imagination!